maybe no one understands me, maybe i dont wish to be understood. When i start trying to understand myself, i seem scary all over again. see lots of repeated patterns. i'm a QUiTTer and i know it. never have the perseverence, or the long lasting enthusiasm. just a lil set back, and i'd be down already. Just a lil bad feelings, and i'd feel demoralized, depressed, and de-"everything else".. What do i do about it!? i run, i hide, i avoid, i indulge in self pity, i drink, i club, i wallow away in depression.

know i'm not the most pathetic person cuz i've got ppl arnd me who care a gr8 deal, and of which, afew wld be readin tis post. thX aloT peePs.. but gues i'd haf 2 go tru tis one myself. i'm Blaming it ENTIRLY on PMS.. but know it aint relavent la! ha. gues it's part n parcle of growin up, and learning more things in life. Guess it'z juz my character. i need time to "adjust"..

Went to celebrate Shimin's 21st on sat at Siam Supper Club, and HELL, the Place SUX!. company was good, but the place suCk totally. no crowd, wrong music, blahh.. Went with shimin's office ppl, her part time bf Vincent (the gay), his paL (who was supposed to be my "guy" for the night), and celin, and afew others who brought their friend's friend's friend, who ended up givin celin a lecture on SIA!! Drank quite abit that nite, to the extend that those guys actuali bought 2 more Jugs juz to make me "high" haha.. but they failed.. terribly! hee. too bad Vincent n heng left earli.. or things wld definately get heated up..

Realized that the ppl in shimin's office are OLD, like REALLY OLD, but happening as well! k, i'm exaggarating, aint that old, yuppies la.. but they're really fun. Nice too!! kinda reserved at first, but when they're all warmed up, they're all readY to party! she has tis cute office friend as well. hee.. so i've got 2 guyS for the nite ALL to myself. i'm makin a list of the PERFECT boyfriend! haha.. anyone who falls into 80% of the category, i'm gona GO AFTER HIM!! haha..

Pix comin up ...