This WHOMPS!

ha. got that word from a cartoon i watched today. totally meaningless. if you really must put a meaning to it, i guess it means, this sucks. felt extremely sucky yesterday. wanted to cry. wanted to die. wanted to blog how i felt yesterday but ended up watching csi:miami which made me feel better. fell asleep soon after that. much happier today. don't know if i can recollect the sadness i felt yesterday. still.. ah...

don't wish to offend anyone in this entry but if i do, i accept the consequences and do remember this is after my blog (and val's too. heh) and it is my right to say what i feel and want to say. i'm typing things out the way i interpret it. don't feel as if you have to justify what you did to me but hell, if you want to, go ahead. no guarantees things will turn out right though.

don't feel like typing in proper sentences or even with the rules of the english language, but i believe you all would understand what i'm saying so hell. applied for the main com a week ago. found out i got rejected a few days after that. why i didn't get chosen, i simply did not understand. was actually really motivated bout it, thinking if i could become project head of PROM nite, i know i would do a great job but yeah. didn't get in. so, gotta rely on equan to fight for it. ah well, could be a blessing. should there be a prom nite, at least i would get to enjoy it. to all my friends, do go for it if there is yah. oh yes, why i was upset. sad that i didn't get in, would have gotten over it in no time. was irritated that i received the notification thru email. it could be due the professionalism required cos' BA society was a form of organisation after all. (read: definition of organisation in Business Management). the worst: the deciding committee were my friends. a simple sms that said, hey jac, you didn't get in, would have been fine. but no, got a email instead. anyway, it doesn't get to me anymore. no use harping on it. getting on with my life.

current feelings: school sucks.

i don't see my best school pals anymore. it's difficult to catch each other nowadays. my classmates are new. don't even have a single old classmate with me. hate the new system. esp when this is the last year where i can hang out with all my friends. the last year where i am stuck in singapore. i hate it. i absolutely hate it. my classmates don't know me, and i don't know them. not a single one of them know how i work. things would be so much easier. i wouldn't have to be nice. i could be direct and forthcoming in the things i wanted. but no. i have to play nice. work and learn how my new classmates are like. even my project mates are new. i like them, don't hate them at all. but they don't know me. we don't even hang out. what's the point? frankly, if you think about it carefully. marketing is not as fun as it seems right now. everything looks bloody bleak. fuck, this is depressing me.

bernie left for australia about two hours ago. will be gone for ten days, then when he gets back, one month later, he'll be sold to the army for 2 years. i'll be gone by then. don't know if we'll still be together. don't seem likely. i am a very pessimistic optimistic person. not hopeful at all. was not sad though, when he left. i know i'll miss him. too used to him being around him all the time. maybe cos of this i have neglected my friends. don't even know if i'll have any friends left when i get back.
the only thing that would perk me up are eyecandies. sigh. they are decreasing rapidly. my first eyecandy, don't really seem to want to talk to me. ah well, can't force him can i. wondered if i'll be missed by my friends. can't seem to make myself believe that i'll be missed.

the only joy i have right now, would be my ANIME!!!!!
ha. crazy bout it right now. started off with pretear, then scrapped princess now fruit basket. bernie bought some sun wu kong one, and i bought dear boys. it's on basketball. hehehehe. val, will pass it to you when you want fruit basket. will post the picture of fruit basket soon enough... and it's awwwww man... damn sad. and i know the show is not OVER yet... cos' not everyone in the zodiac is introduced yet. and i wanna know.... this sucks... ugh... anime, my only consolation. sigh. can't think right now.. might update later again.. cos' i think this is slowing my burning. it's been half and hour and my encoding is only 28%. i've got bout 6 more to go.. ugh.