Word of caution: entry is long almost equivalent of an essay. Do not read it, if you don't think you can handle it.

About a year back, I started a blog. A personal blog, not one that is shared as it is right now. The purpose of it was to let my thoughts out in print, to finalise them, so when I read it back I'd know what was going thru my head then. Then I realised, it was too much of a hassle to constantly update it. I don't think too much nowadays, what's the point; people don't like others to think much anymore. They would deny it with fervidness, because that is simply a truth not much people are willing to accept. It would deem them as shallow, which would lead me to my thought of the day later.

What sparked off such a thought would be the first thing most would ask. This was brought on during a dinner conversation with a friend, not that it has any connotation or link to that friend (I know you'll read this, and I am telling the truth). Now, this brings me to my thought.

Thought of the day: Being shallow

Fear, the fear of being called shallow. The question is what defines shallowness (if there is even such a word)? How does a person get stereotyped or called shallow? What are the deciding factors? Is it the depth of conversation with others or in terms of thinking or what? Has it ever been considered that being shallow could have been a result of the environment?

I shall take myself as an example. I used to think a lot, way more than I probably should. It may be seen as paranoia but I assure you that my thoughts definitely do not lead to paranoia, just more questions and less answers. Answers are gained when insight is gained; to achieve it mostly requires discussions. How can a discussion begin when people simply do not wish think about it much more start a discussion about it. The common reason is opening themselves to such things, would lead them to think about other things which they might just not want to think about. Thinking bogs people down. It can be depressing. Because of that, people just stop thinking.

The analogy is this, when one shuts down, it will manage to affect others. One by one, everyone just stops thinking. Why? It is in human nature of most people to take the easy way out, and by not thinking, it creates less problems and less frustrations. The future of conversations would be about their daily lives, the monotony of it. We are creatures of habit, so similar things would happen over and over again, or at least to say we allow things to happen repeatedly. When we stop finding the cause to the problem or issue, it never gets solved. We never understand. We won't learn. We won't get answers. We get stuck in the rut, month after month, year after year. To me, the refusal to confront matters which bug you, that is being truly shallow.

It may seem like a warped theory to some, but that's how I see it, unless someone can prove me otherwise. I would be glad to hear about it. If I am going to get detractors again, for this entry, please leave a name. It's easier for me to refer you with a name. I don't like calling people, "passer-by", ":."(Will someone please teach me how to pronounce that). I won't hunt you down. What's the point right?

Denying that I am somewhat shallow would be the most stupid thing to do right now. I feel I have become shallow. I stopped thinking about such stuff for quite a while now. It made me feel simpler. Complexity scares me, probably it's because I'm getting too old for it. I don't have the drive or the strength to fight it head on. A lot of things scare me nowadays; I'm becoming a scaredy-cat.

Anyhow, on a lighter note, I watched this Korean movie today, the title which I roughly remember is 'Everyone has secrets'. It's a pretty good show I must say. I agree with the title wholeheartedly. I have secrets, which some people know, and some don't or some which no one will ever know. Keeping secrets to oneself is fine but keeping secrets from yourself that I believe is the worse thing anyone can do. I wish I knew my friends' secrets; it creates a bond which only through that action can create. I am going to end here because, I'm getting more depressed and confused by the minute.

If what was written was too nonsensical or not meant for understanding to you, by all means ignore it.